maybe it's just me

Romans 14:1 (the message)
Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.


Thank you Kim Sadler. This passage is such a good reminder that I don't have to give my opinion all the time. Sometimes I just need to listen. God's working is everyone's life so who am I to determine what they should or should not be learning at any given time. True I'm willing to speak God's truth when He wants me to. But I really want to stop always having to know the correct answer.


Hey Kim, wanna come hang out with me in March? Like the 25th or something? Yeah? Okay! bring Carl and Kelly too. Remember the trash cans? Hopefully in a year or so we'll look back at this post and wonder what in the world we were doing with trash cans. We're underrated.


"If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it's time to water your own grass." - I like that a lot. Stop complaining. You're right where you're at. And it's okay. I'm mainly talking to me. I'm trying to be more optimistic with my life.


No matter where you go, there you are.


Also I was reminded the other day, as I sat in Starbucks, about how much I used to love Feist. A year ago, maybe longer, I listened to it obsesively. When I heard little XM radio playing Inside and Out I recalled my long lost love but couldn't remember the name of the band. Then I checked Robby's xanga last night and there it was. And that's another reason I'm thankful for friends like Robby. Good taste in music.


Earlier this morning I was sitting at my desk reading and watching this cute little boy. His older sister was also keeping an eye on him. I smiled and laughed at him and so did she. She was probably 11 or 12. She had one of those containers of mini m&m's. She walks over to my desk and says, "want some?" How could I say no. She then dumped them into my outstretched hand and walked away. True I can't eat them, lent, but she was so sweet. I was just reminded of how much God loves me. It just felt like she was strategically placed to brighten my day.


Plus her little brother was adorable. And he made me miss my little brother Clayton so much. I'm looking forward to going home so much these days. But I'm enjoying myself here too.


Tomorrow night all the roommates and I are going to Home Run Inn for a little deep dish action. Brian says it's better than Giardono's. Man I do love Chicago style pizza. But when I'm home can we go to either Hound Dog's or that other place? Whose name I can't remember ... Ashley help me out ... the place with the ranch?


Okay, this is sufficient. Kinda like God's grace, only different. Whoa.


I think God is really great.


Shalom.

"it's like colorado"

realized the other day that i eat things i never thought i would. weird stuff.


but last night i was talking to this girl who goes to school near vancouver and she just made it sound beautiful. ive never had a desire to go to canada before, but maybe i'll add it to places i need to live before i die.


tomorrow's thursday and crazy things are goin down. be jealous.


4 weeks. excited.

eggsaucedead

this not sleeping nonsense is frustrating. can't figure out what's happenin. today has been long. luckily i brought tylenol. tonight's gonna be longer.


this weekend is what we call "come and see" weekend here at mission year. several of my roommates have family and friends coming and seeing. not i my friend. but hopefullly that will mean that i'll get to enjoy some peace and quite. or something along those lines.


"...if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, yoru Father will not forgive your sins." - Matthew 6:14&15


shalom and my wrist will hopefully get aquainted during spring break


www.therefinersfire.org/meaning_of_shalom.htm


last night i watched spanglish. man i forgot how much i love that movie. and i love adam sandler. emotional.


May you live in anticipation of the day when God makes all things whole again.
--ancient meaning of Shalom greeting

walkin on sunshine

it's snowy, cold and wet ... but i'm surprisingly upbeat.


the "secret admirer" is no longer a secret. thank you.


and now i'm so excited about spring break. i can't even tell you.


i was reading the Lord's prayer this morning. so simply. so good.


also have i mentioned how excited i am to live with MLE? i'm excited. her and i. her and aaron and i. it's just going to be quite wonderful and i'm happy about it. so is mom.


yesterday was quite delightful as well. church and a black history month luncheon with new canadian friends. i felt like a mom though, these little girls wanted to sit with me and there mom told me to make sure they ate. well like all little girls they just wanted to show off and have me admire everything they did. they hardly ate at all. oh well. they were cute.


still gotta call ash, hamp, kfoulis ... i'm pretty blessed.


now i have a headache. gotta go. keep those chins up kids. love.

bravo

last night a roommate made a really good point about the deception almost necessary for those living in poverty. i said "bravo!" and then i got judged a lot.

Sacred Romance

"The reason the mass of men fear God and at bottom dislike him is because they rather distrust his heart, and fancy him all brain, like a watch." - Melville

"The Gospel says that we, who are God's beloved, created a cosmic crisis. It says we were stolen from out True Love and that he launched the greatest campaign in the history of the world to get us back. God created us for intimacy with him. When we turned our back on him he promised to come for us. He sent personal messengers; he used beauty and affliction to recapture our hearts. After all else failed, he conceived the most daring of plans. Under the cover of night he stole into the enemy's camp incognito, the Ancient of Days disguised as a newborn. The Incarnation, as Phil Yancey reminds us, was a daring raid into enemy territory. The whole world lay under the power of the evil one and we were held in the dungeons of darkness. God risked it all to rescue us." - The Sacred Romance


Finished it. Beautiful.


Us Mission Year kids have a field trip to the Dusabo Museum tomorrow. African-American History Museum. Should be baller.

I'm just really blessed

Is it more interesting to eavesdrop on a conversation about people you know or don't know?


Yesterday at work was tough. This girl is going through so much. I just wanted to cry with her.


But then I got home and had only been there about 15min when Gregory knocked on the door. He's a cutie, I wrote about him already. He's 8 it turns out. But we all know that I'm going to think he's 8 no matter how old he gets. We played clue jr. and the toy story version of yatzee. And we all know how I feel about games but he's so cute that I just couldn't resist.


Then the roommates got home. We did a little book discussion which was more lively than normal. Had a good talk with one of the girls. We're in the same spot in a lotta ways.


The weather is beautiful. It just makes me want to take off and do some exploring and things. Find an enourmous park of some kind. And I love when Chris works here, cause he always opens the window. No matter what kind of weather it is. But today there's a lovely breeze floating in through the clinic. God is really great.


So is my mom. She sent a picture to my phone yesterday. It's of an excoworker and his comical facial hair. Who knows how a conversation got started between them that resulted in his mug on the screen of my phone. But I'm really blessed by my friendship with her.


It's probably the weather but I'm in a wonderful mood. I think they call it joyful.

oh the days gone by

I was looking at a website I threw together when I was 17 I think. Absolutely ridiculous. It's mainly pictures and things. But man, it's funny how things change. Wanna check it out? Yeah? Too bad.


Three more chapters left of The Sacred Romance. Man it's good. Refreshing and good. I love the way they tell stories all the time. And use movies and books as analogies of how God is trying to gently draw us closer to himself. Beautiful.


Hey, Lent started today. And this weather really makes me wish I was getting to spend Easter with my family. Man I love Easter with everybody. And this year supposedly there's going to be even more than everybody. I wish I could be there. We still have candy hunts.


I've been doing a lot of reminiscing recently. Well mainly the past three days. God's helping me see things in a totally different light than I did growing up. It's bittersweet.


Goodbye to you. Ha, I wrote that and then I thought of Michelle Branch. Thank you Kim.

cheers

I listened to this song on repeat this morning. Now I can't get it outta my head. It's sad. It reminds me of the movie Love Actually which was both hopeful and heartbreaking. Oh sigh. Join with me in humming this all day long.


"If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23&24

There are a couple people that I need to talk with.


Last night was J.A.M. and because of a tremendous headache and only two girls from my group showing up, I got to go home and go to bed. But what I think is funny is when you say you have a headache and the response you get is, what happened? Do people really know why they have a headache. Just a little pet peeve.


But luckily Gregory came over for a little bit. He's probably 9 and is so cute. Man I wanna take him.


Stepped outta my comfort zone this morning.


Alright things need to get done. Stay encouraged.

the gospel...

"It is a world of magic and mystery, of deep darkness and flickering starlight. It is a world where terrible things happen and wonderful things too. It is a world where goodness is pitted against evil, love against hate, order against chaos, in a great struggle where often it is hard to be sure who belongs to which side because appearances are endlessly deceptive. Yet for all its confusion and wildness, it is a world where the battle goes ultimately to the good, who live happily ever after, and where in the long run everybody, good and evil alike, becomes known by his true name...That is the fairy tale of the Gospel with, of course, one crucial difference from all other fairy tales, which is that the claim made for it is that it is true, that it not only happened once upon a time but has kept on happening ever since and is happening still." - Frederick Buechner Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy and Fairy Tale

I decided to read through The Sacred Romance again. Sarah recommended it last night and I forgot that I brought it with, so I'm reading it again. It's quite delightful. It may contradict what I learned from Robert a couple weeks ago. Man that guy has haunted me. But the book is magically written. Just reading the first couple chapters begins to stir up excitement for life. Good.


Found a pic in the book. Took me back a couple years. So did listening to Spin by Lifehouse this morning. I'm just being sentimental today. A'ight. Peace.

Feelin' Good

Matthew 5:3-10

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Am I poor in spirit, or is pride creeping into my heart and attitude?

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."

Have I mourned, or are my emotions shut off?

"Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth."

Am I meek, or am I coming across like I've got it all together and don't need anyone else?

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

Do I hunger and thirst for righteousness, or have I grown comfortable with my present lifestyle?

"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."

Am I merciful, or am I making sure that everyone gets exactly what they deserve?

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God."

Is my heart pure, or are my motives tainted by my selfish desires?

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God."

Am I helping to make peace, or am I bringing out discontentment?

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Are things rough because I'm putting my faith out in the open, or because I'm avoiding it?


This is good.


Today it's supposed to be in the 40's. That gets me pretty excited about things. Funny how something like weather can have such an impact on life.


Wanted
Any information regarding the sender of the beautiful red roses I received on the 14th of February. Information will be rewarded.


I went and saw Music and Lyrics last night. Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. I forget sometimes that seeing movies in the theater isn't all that bad, in fact it's quite enjoyable. The movie was real cute. Right up there with Catch and Release.


Alright, time to go do some work. Have a wonderful day kids.

babies

The older I get the younger I feel.


A couple minutes ago I was sitting at my desk reading a book when a receptionist, elizabeth, came over holding this adorable 4 month old little boy. Full of smiles and little baby noises. I did the usual baby talk and tickle thing to encourage the baby to keep being cute. It worked so well that elizabeth put the baby in my lap and walked away. It's been such a long time since I help a baby, it made me thankful that God decided we should all go through the baby stage. It's probably the stage where we're most annoying but also the most lovable. I can't wait to talk with God about why He made babies.

And I feel like that would also be a conversation that I would have with Kim.


The other day I found out that Elizabeth, who has an adorable 4 year old, is a couple months younger than I am. How in the world? I'm so far away from that place. I can't even imagine having a four year old and a real job and a husband. Wow. And that's why I got to thinking about how I feel younger and younger as the day's go by.


Well my supervisor didn't show up for our usual meeting, so there's that. The president of mission year is coming over tonight for a little dessert action. Hopefully that goes well. I can't believe it's already the weekend. Tomorrow will hopefully turn out better than last Saturday. Then Sunday I've got church, CityWide and hopefully having new friends over. Monday I can do whatever I want. Man, the days just fly by.

evesdropping

currently i'm eavesdropping on a conversation two of our doctors are having. they're talking about obama. and they're making me love him all the more. i need to go get his books and read them. they're talking about abortion and obama's stand on it and i'm just excited about him.


this is why i'm starting to love my roommates ... last night i got home and a couple of them were home and we'd all had long days so we ate some chocolate. then i mentioned how good puppy chow sounded, and then we threw together our own version without a recipe. then we ate it together. then we went into the living room and cuddled. it started with jenny sitting on the couch. then dani sat on her lap. then i got lonely and snuggled with them. then tara laid on my lap and i scratched her scalp. my dreads got played with a little too. it was a good night.


and this is why I love my brother Matthew and his fiancee Carrie ... for valentines day they sent me a cupid potato head. they're so great. thank you both! i can't wait to see you guys! little cupid is all dressed and sitting on my window sill.


Lauren and i got our nails done. man what fun. and don't worry kim they're not gaudy and gross so we can still be friends. they're just french manicured and cute. but the guy who did my nails was really nice and worried about us living where we do.


this is what i read this morning.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." Matthew 5:38-42

Often I find myself only letting those who are trust worthy borrow my things. And hardly even then. I'm not good at sharing or at letting myself be voluntarily wronged. I have rights. People can't take advantage of me. This is my stuff, don't touch. But this passage destroys that. I'm to give generously beyond what people are even asking. Way to go Jesus. Way to go.

tiny tots

I came into the back to type on the laptop and there was this little girl sitting in the back coloring a picture. So cute. She started out on the other side of the table but slowly moved her way over to my side and is now coloring right next to me. She's so cute. Occasionally she'll kinda lift up her picture obviously wanting me to comment on how pretty it is. I'm more than willing. She's adorable. I'm just not sure if she speaks english.


Who knows why I'm not working with little kids. Oh that's right, cause they're cute for a short period of time and then they get annoying.


Tomorrow's Friday and I may get to go to the auto show to volunteer. No guarantees but it's a possibility. Hopefully Jenny, Tara, Brad and Andrew would be there as well.


During lunch I sat with our lab technician, an MA and a receptionist. They're all Hispanic and all felt like their people are treated very poorly here. They were all getting really heated. Broke my heart cause I can see it. But they let me in on the conversation which leads me to believe that they don't think I do it. Man, the color of someones skin should not determine how they're treated.


Alright I'm gonna go oooo and ahhh at this little girl.

make their work a joy

Last night my roommates and i went out to the white palace to celebrate Lauren's half birthday. Lots of fun. We made fun of people alot. You know, couples and giggley girls. Saw some guy slip on the ice, I know it's not nice to laugh but it's hard sometimes.


But after work Lauren and I r gonna get r nails did ... ya hurd? Hopefully we'll both get really long and gaudy sets. I'm excited about it.


Hebrews 13:17 "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy and not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you."

This is a good reminder. The person that popped into my head first is Dara. I've begun some sneaky missions to make her job a joy. But there's more I can do. Rather than complain about what I see is wrong I need to encourage her so that she doesn't get even more frustrated. And that goes for any and all those in leadership positions. I need to help, not antagonize. And we all know how hard that is for me to do.


Alright I'm gonna go do some work related things now.

cont.

- preg test. easiest.


Monday afternoon brad and I hungout for awhile. It was really good. He reminds me of Hampy a lot which is cool. We talked about some really deep stuff. I'm just making friends real quick. Mom would be so proud.


What a gloomy valentines day. Good thing that I got yellow roses this morning.


I'm trying to make a difference here, even if it's just with my roommates and the other mission year teams. God can use me here. And it's just exciting.


But I'm really excited to be back in ohio. Living with E. Scott. Chillin like a villian. I've got both brothers weddings to attend, one in May(?) and one in June. But I won't really be back there till August.


Can't wait till March. 25th/26th. I'm reserved for K. Sadler.


A. Laughlin. Toughen up.


A'ight. Work things to do. Much love today my friends.

v-day

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9


This snow is getting ridiculous.


A lot of stuff has happened over the past couple days. Yesterday I took a mental health day aka snow day. So I spent the day with Tara and Lauren. Cleaned and organized my room, wrote some notes, finished a book, painted, made rice krispy treats. It was just a lovely day.

On Sunday night after training I rode the train home with brad and andrew. We decided to be friends.

Then I got home and there were a billion people at my house. And by a billion there were like 10. We played truth or dare for about 2 hours. We laughed a lot. And it looks like I will have friends to hangout with during spring break. Neither Chris or Ben are going home so we've set up some hangout time.

Saturday one of my roommates and I were waiting for the bus and a man approached and said, "I'm the stick up man, give me your money." Then he yelled a little. So I've had my first experience getting robbed.

There are patients. I need to go. I'll finish updating in a minute. Peace.

100

well this is my 100th post on blogger.


a bunch has happened in the last 24 hours.


met this guy named robert the australian at starbucks yesterday afternoon. we talked about the bible for about an hour. he made me question so much. almost made me cry and then we prayed right there. strange.


ate dinner at dara's last night. it went really well. she facilitated a good discussion between all the roommates about making our house a safe place. a lot of good stuff was said.


this morning we went to a mexican museum. lauren and i decided to skim. luckily brad and andrew did also so we had a good time joking about things. we were all 12. then we went into this room with all this art depicting the emotional, physical and spiritual pain that the AIDs epedemic has brought on the hispanic community. it was really good. now i have to write a one page essay about a piece that i saw.


then lauren and i dipped out early. got on the bus and fell into this girls lap. hilarious and embarrassing. isn't life great.


now i'm at working doing productive things like organizing things. meeting with the super in a little. hopefully we're gonna get a little pressure taken off of laura's shoulders. my goodness.


alright i'm goin back to work now. then it's hangin with the roomies.

bwahbwahbwah

i'm with paige ... one of the only reasons i check my xanga is to see if heather has updated. hilarious. i'm glad i'm apart of the laughlin family somehow.


ahhhhhahahaaaahhhhh ... <---- that's how i feel today?


awkward confrontation last night from two of the roommates to all of the other ones. they just did it right after we'd all had long days and had sat and discussed this deep book called Jesus and the Disinherited. so let's just say some people's attitudes could have been better. especially mine. i'm such a brat.


alright time to do things.



adddiiioooossss!

too much.

Oh Robby I miss you.


How in the world is one girl supposed to be a health counselor an outreach worker and soon to be an abstinence educator? Today's been long and my head is crammed full again. Just when I thought I was getting a little breather.


You're better than the stars.

Shalom

This idea of shalom has been ruminating for the past week. Its good stuff to think about. Shalom = Peace. When someone says the word peace I think of the absence of strife. But this peace is so much more. Enjoyment.


"Shalom is the human being dwelling at peace in all his or her relationships: with God, with self, with fellows, with nature...but the peace which is shalom is not entirely the absence of hostility, not merely being in right relationship. Shalom at it's highest is enjoyment in one's relationships...to dwell in shalom is to enjoy living in one's physical surroundings, to enjoy living with one's fellows, to enjoy life with oneself." - Nicholas Wolterstorff


"Shalom might best be defined as an ideal, described in poetic terms by Old Testament prophets. In shalom, peace and justice come together. But more than that, peace combines with delight and enjoyment in right relationships - with God, with self, with fellow humans and with nature. In shalom, there is peace, but not peace without justice. There is justice, but not justice without enjoyment. In shalom, as Isaiah and others imagined it, the whole creation will come together in such a way that we will delight in each other, in God and in nature itself. - Douglas J. Brouwer


But I'd like to know more. I'm just an eager beaver about this shalom.

snow snow go away

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." Matthew 6:33&34


Oh this is what being totally out of control feels like. It's all outta my hands so I've gotta trust God with it. The future. Who even knows how everything's gonna fall into place. But prayer would be grately appreciated. Worry robs the present of my presence. I don't want to miss out on what's happening right here and right now because I'm focusing my attention on 6 months from now.


Remember how the Colts blew the Bears outta the water? I remember that. I also remember rooting for my team, seeing them win, and then having all the guys from my church vow never to talk to me again. Man, I love sports.


KimS, Hamp, Johnny & Diddy, thank you for your contributions. They made me both laugh and tear up. You guys are great. Thanks for being a part of my life.


Boo Bear, you just need to come today. Please, we'll find a couch to snuggle on, we'll eat pumpkin icecream, watch family guy and cry. I just really need you to come.


Sunday, with the wind chill, it was -24. Who does that?


Why are schools in dublin closed but not schools in chicago?

meetings meetings meetings

my eyes hurt.


whole bunch of meetings today. i'm beat. but luckily while i was in a meeting with my supervisor a teacher from the school came looking for me to ask for my assistance. that's impressive right ... right.


this lady today who was teaching me how to do things ... well we talked for about an hour and then we realized that she'd shared her testimony in front of all the mission year students. stupid me. i'm just not good with faces.


reading through hebrews. 10:38 and 11:1. connect them. the righteous believe in what they cannot see. shoot. shouldn't that change the way we live? if we really believed in our hearts what it is that we say we're all about ... shouldn't that alter drastically the way we view life and handle situations? just good is all.


alright i'm doing that thing again. leaving early. there's no one here anyway so i'm not sure why i'm here. tonight is "family night". who knows what we'll do this week. but tomorrow i'm hanging out with two of my roommates plus ravin and erica. so i actually have something to do with my afternoon. hooray for not having to walk around k-town all day.


<3

like death

the weather feels like death.


just got done getting learning how to do support worker referals. just another responsibility. under trained. over worked.


alright i'm going to go sit at my desk and wait for allison to show up so we can debrief. i just need to get motivated.


michael jackson was in my dreams last night. so were a bunch of dead jazz musicians. and penelope and odysseus. somehow i was in charge of all of them. where do our dreams come from i wonder.

apples

i can't wait for the day when i can go grocery shopping and get as many apples as i want, and then eat as many as i can in one sitting and then carry a sled through uptown.


i'm planning on wearing my edgerrin james jersey downtown on sunday. too bad he's now with the cardinals. and too bad there aren't supposed to be any degrees on sunday. but still we are gonna cause a rukus. i'm really happy about our plan.


choir tonight.

mr. yummy

ashley - google image search Timothy Olyphant. yep there it is.