ash and i in pics

some pictures ... check em ... http://www.xanga.com/AshleyMae53/559836862/item.html

party

shouldn't have expected anything different ...


time to party like it's 1999 ... or something ...


headed to the preston estate for a bit ...


have fun tonite kids ... be safe ...


don't do anything i wouldn't do ...


peace ...

week from heaven

Today found Ashley and I completing our 30 miles in 2 days bike excursion. Wonderful.


This week has flown by. It's just hard to think of leaving here and leaving those I care about. But I guess that what makes me realize that it's the right thing to do. It's hard. It's uncomfortable. But it's where I'm at for this season in my life. I got a phone call that came across as Private so I answered it. Turned out to be one of my roommates. We talked for awhile and she just kept talking about getting back to Chicago. It was hard. It's hard now.


And Joey just handed me a Monster drink and told me to drink it. It's a bad idea for me to have that amount of caffeine but I guess I've only got one life to live.


There are a ton of people at my house. Escaping could be the order of the day. Perhaps my favorite pond and trail. The ducks need me I'm pretty sure.



God's pretty good though. Ask me about it and I'll tell you. He works miracles. I'm blown away by it. Good good.


Katie Mc and I grabbed b-fast at panera this morning. So good to see her. I've missed her like crazy. Soon Paigey and I should be doin the usual.


I'm gonna try and remember what all happened this week so that I don't forget and can look back on it when I return to Chi-town.

Sunday Night: Christmas Eve service. Saw a lot of wonderful people. Ashley and I annoyed the people in front of us. Happy Christmas.

Monday: Starbucks in the a.m. to see my ex-coworkers. Brunch with the fam. Saw Night At the Museum. Then to Laughlins to see the sick family. Then to see Kim while she was dog sitting the possessed dog. Then to hangout with Matt Hamp.

Tuesday: Lunch with KimF. Ran errands. Ended up with Emily and Aaron at hound dogs. Then family guy and sleepin on the floor.

Wednesday: Went to Vinsons to let the dog out with Emily. Then met up with Kim Sadler. I was late. We went all over, Johnny's, slushies, roads. Apparently I'm funny. Then ended up at home with Nate, Nathan, TJ and Jed. Ended up goin to the movies with Hannah and Jed.

Thursday: Chipotle with Kim and Ashley. Made cookies with Ash and delivered them to a select special few. Went to the bowling palace to see Nate. Got to see Joe, TJ and Joey also.

Friday: Ashley and I went on a 15 mile bike ride. Cup O' Joe. Then Scotties for awhile. Saw Emily at work. Let Mitzi out. Then ShiShaw with Robby. We spent a lot of time dreaming about the future. Then Ashley showed up. Went to Gumby's.

Saturday: Breakfast with Katie Mc. Another 15 mile bike ride with Ashley. Then Scotties again. Apparently they're closing so I'm hitting them up as often as I can. And now I'm at home with all these random people.


Alright I'm getting claustrophobic. Peace out.

goodness gracious

this has been incredible.


more to come...

family time

if anyone saw my mom, sisters and i yesterday at any time, im sure they thought we were intoxicated. especially later at night when i took my sisters to the park and around town. what a good time. now we're watching Hook. not like we haven't seen this a million times. be home in a couple hours.

Merry Christmas Eve everyone ... see you soon!


had a strange dream. really strange. hopefully it doesn't come true.


peace out!

"I was coming home from kindergarten -- well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves." - Ellen DeGeneres


"Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot." - Ellen DeGeneres


I'm sorry Kim ... but I thought of you when I read these ...

thirsty tree

Jeremiah 17:5-8 (The Message)

God's Message:

"Cursed is the strong one
who depends on mere humans,
Who thinks he can make it on muscle alone
and sets God aside as dead weight.
He's like a tumbleweed on the prairie,
out of touch with the good earth.
He lives rootless and aimless
in a land where nothing grows.

But blessed is the man who trusts me, God,
the woman who sticks with God.
They're like trees replanted in Eden,
putting down roots near the rivers—
Never a worry through the hottest of summers,
never dropping a leaf,
Serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season."

juss wanna go home

Home by Michael Buble

Listening for the Weather by Bic Runga


I've been listening to these songs for weeks ... I just wanna go home. Get to see mom later on tonight with the sisters. Then all the other wonders on Sunday. Can't wait for it.


Today is just a pointless day. None of my roommates or I are doing any work, Jenny and I were chatting online a second ago. We should all probably go home. Oh sigh. Just sat and listened to a student for like an hour. She makes my life look so easy.


"Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." - James 1:2-4

my hope is in You

"Put your hope in God." - Psalm 42:11

"The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cries and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him." - Psalm 145:17-20

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." - Psalm 62:1&2

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, it is godd to be near God." - Psalm 74:25,26&28


If I ever put my hope in something other than God I'm setting myself up for disaster. God is the only one that is always faithful and always loving. And even though He is, I still doubt. So why would I ever let my happiness rest on another mortal being? That's unfair to do that to them. No one deserves that kind of pressure. Only God, for He's the only one that could be all that we desire and more.

I'm just trying to get my life back where it needs to be. And I'm thinking about skipping out on a little work today. I feel sick afterall. My head feels like there's a grenade exploding in it. My throat feels like someone took an S.O.S. pad to it. And when I talk I sound like a man. Alright that does it ... I'm skipping out on work. Peace out kids.

cartwheels

Habakkuk 3:17-19 (The Message)

Though the cherry trees don't blossom and the strawberries don't ripen, though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted, though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty, I'm singing joyful praise to God. I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God. Counting on God's Rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength. I run like a deer. I feel like I'm king of the mountain!

My mom sent me a text with this verse in it. Good reminder. Even though things are hard and painful at times. I will still talk about God's goodness. Even though things don't make sense. I will still declare God's faithfulness.


Wanna see something cute? Alright ... this is my brother and his fiancee ... http://www.dnephotography.com/Young-Poling.htm ... cute right? ... I'm jealous ...


Currently I'm a tad bit sick. Coughing, headache, fatigue. And then last night I may have made myself a little sick. But that led to sleeping on the floor which turned out to be great. Slept in till 7. It was good. Hopefully I'm better by tomorrow. We'll see.


It's been wonderfully liberating realizing that the relationships that I care most about(Ashley, Emily, KimS, KimF, Katie etc.) are going to be there no matter what. Whether I remain in Chicago after this year, or follow through on my plan with Emily Scott. There's a lot less stress about the future now. And the convo with my mom that went something like, "I don't see you settling down. You're gonna travel the world." Hooray for world traveling.


Oh, and I'll be back in c-bus on Sunday.

He Gets The Last Word

1 Peter 5:8-11 (The Message)

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.


Isn't it great how good God is. Why throw in the towel when I've got something this good. My loved ones are not the only ones going through such hard times. All over the world Satan is attacking God's children.


Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Thank you Kim. Sometimes I forget. God's got this. No need to worry. No need to fret. God's got our backs. Remember when we looked all over for that bookstore? I remember that. You're great. I'm glad you're in my life.


Last night my roommate walked in the room and set a tea bag on the table. She said her boss had given it to her and that it was really good tea but she just didn't like it. So since I'm a teaaholic I grabbed that sucker only to find out that it was earl grey! It was like Christmas. So I got some boiling water, some honey, a mug and my new found earl grey tea bag and drank me a lovely cup of tea. Oh the memories that can come from the scent of a single cup of tea.


Mom and sisters are headed out on Friday. It's gonna be a stellar time. Then I'm headed to O-hi-O. It's really coming up fast. Time is flying past.


My co-workers are talking about smoking weed. They're moms. It's weird to eaves drop on this conversation. Sometimes they switch to only speaking in spanish. Oh hilarious. Speaking of weed, our apartment building usually smells of the reefer because boys will stand at the bottom of our stairs and smoke. So yesterday our landlords daughter asked my roommate if we're smoking in our apartment. My roommate said no thinking that she thought we were the source of the smell. Then the girl informed us that she smokes weed and was just wondering if we did so that we could smoke together. Too bad huh.


"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." - Proverbs 16:9

does not compute

"...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28


"All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful." - Psalm 25:10


"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him." - 2 Samuel 22:31


"God works for the good." - Well right now it doesn't seem like it. How can this be good? How are these loving and faithful ways? His way just doesn't seem perfect right now.


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8&9


For sure I would do things a little differently. In my head I know that God is faithful. He is good. For crying out loud, He is Love. But in my heart it's hard to feel that way.


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." - Philippians 4:6


"Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7


Things have been put in perspective. My silly little complaints seem pretty shallow and pointless. God is so big and I am so small. I'm going to keep trusting, even though I don't understand.

i'm safer in an airplane

Who knew copeland had an album out called Eat Sleep Repeat? Yeah it's good. Especially I'm Safer In An Airplane.

it happened then, it happens now
they let you in, they let you down
and its feels like, we cant get out
and it feels like, hell...

i think im safer in an airplane,
i think im safer with my lungs full of smoke
i think im safer on the jet way,
than a world without hope

the day came in, the day went out
and not a bit of peace was spoken about
and it feels like, a suicidal world
and it feels like, hell...

i think im safer in an airplane,
i think im safer if i run through the streets
i think im safer on the jetway,
than a world without peace

oh, my arms will stretch out when they've had enough
oh, when they're tired of holding up us

i think im safer on an airplane,
i think im safer in the sky up above,
i think on safer on the jetway,
than a world without..

i think im safer on an airplane,
i think im safer in the sky up above
i think on safer on the jetway,
than a world without love.



Alright let's recap.


Saturday we had a party and invited people from our church and from the neighborhood. Definitely crazy to have pastor and drug dealer hanging in the same apartment. But isn't that how Jesus rolled? Yes. So then people are leaving and we're cleaning up and Brian calls, invites himself over and brings about 5 other people. True we know DJ and Erica. But the musician named Joel (reminded me of johnny a whole lot) and the other girls (don't know names) we didn't. And it was awkward and hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard since Ashley's last night in Ohio. And maybe I wasn't laughing quite that hard, but it was pretty close. There were tears. Brian made us play one of those stupid cranium games. One of my roommates leaned over and told me to cuss no matter what the picture was. So I did for a brief moment. Hilarious. Don't worry. My language is still tame.


Sunday after church we had a craft time for the little children. It was good. There were beads and icing everywhere. But the little kids were adorable. Hanging all over. Everything we did seemed amazing to them. Crazy to have fans like that.


The people at the Apple Store are great. Or at least that's what nick who works here told me to say. Isn't this fun. I'm making friends everywhere. http://fwdforwards.blogspot.com/index.html this is one of his blogs. check it.

Coming home in 6 days. Can't hardly wait.


Armed with my chucks and my backpack I'm gonna go finish shopping. Christmas time is great.

so be it

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it in tact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

But...

"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if he chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it."

from C.S.Lewis' book The Four Loves

I've learned a lot from this book. A lot about love. A lot about relationships. But I am more than happy to move on to another book. This time it's a novel. Shootdang. It's called The Corner by David Simon & Edward Burns. It's about life in the inner city. My language is usually pretty tame, but this book may change that. Hopefully not.

So, this guy that's been offering me rides on a daily basis. I decided today that we're not friends. Since I saw him circle around a couple times. Maybe it was nothing. But also maybe it creeped me out a little.

But on a lighter note, the organization that I work for is doing this "12 days of Christmas" thing. Two days ago gift packages were given out to everyone. Yesterday gingerbread and apple cider was dispersed. Who knows what today may bring. I'm excited about it.

Back to work. I'm almost home ohio.

how many of me are there?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 1,476 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Eros <3

"Nothing is shallower than the belief that a love which leads to sin is always qualitatively lower - more animal or more trivial - than one which leads to faithful, fruitful and Christian marriage. The love which leads to cruel and perjured unions, even to suicide-pacts and murder, is not likely to be wandering lust or idle sentiment. It may well be Eros in all his splendor; heart-breakingly sincere; ready for every sacrifice except renunciation." C.S.Lewis

I'll leave this one without explanation. I'm just pondering it.

Thank you God for Friends & Roommates

"... we think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another, posting to different regiments, the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting -- any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends "You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another."

There are no chances. You were chosen to be in my life, and I in yours. So we're stuck with each other as long as we choose to remain with each other. How wonderful and painful all at the same time.

This has definitely challenged my view of my roommates. Because of God's leading all of us have ended up in this apartment together. There are no chances. My desire is to get everything out of it that possibley can. My life will be changed because of the lives of those I wouldn't have ordinarily mingled with.

i'm an ass

Saint Francis called his body "Brother Ass". And this is C.S. Lewis commenting on that thought.

"Ass is exquisitely right because no one in his senses can either revere or hate a donkey. It is a useful, sturdy, lazy obstinate, patient, lovable and infuriating beast; deserving now the stick and now a carrot; both pathetically and absurdly beautiful. So the body. There's no living with it till we recognize that one of its functions is to play the part of buffoon."

May I live up to the example that an ass sets.

I just have lots of things to post about today. So rather than have an enourmous post I will have several smaller posts. Sorry readers.

splash & love

Have you ever seen in a movie or perhaps life in general when someone is standing on the side of the road right as someone drives through a puddle that is at their feet? well I've seen it in movies definitely and have now experienced it first hand. As I was walking to work this morning someone drove through a puddle and got me real good. It's a good thing I can laugh about things like this.

Oh and the same guy has offered me a ride two days in a row. I think we're friends now.


Can I just tell you how much I appreciate my mom? Never in my life have I talked to my mom as much as I have since I moved to Chicago. At least once a week we talk. She's great at listening, I do my best to recipricate. And she gives some really great advice. Most times. Maybe her advice on relationships wasn't the greatest but at least I got a good laugh out of it. She's so supportive of my decisions in life and so encouraging when it comes to my decisions about the future. I'm just really blessed when it comes to moms.


After talking to Emily Scott (who I'm crazy about) last night, and my mom, I realized how much is hanging on this return visit to c-bus. It's nothing to worry about I guess. But still, realizing how my life could change after this visit is a little exciting and a little scary.


1 John 4:7-12
My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.

My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!

caffeine

1 John 3:18-21 (The Message)

"...let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. And friends, once that's taken care of and we're no longer accusing or condemning ourselves, we're bold and free before God!"

When we're practicing real love our eyes are forced off of ourselves and onto others. We're no longer looking at our imperfections, even though they're there. God knows what's inside of us and still desires to use us for His glory. So when we're consumed by God's love for us, and we're allowing that love to direct our attention to others, we're able freely serve God. Good one John.


Last night I had a horrible nights sleep. Well sleep implies that there was some. I just laid there for hours. Probably cause I did the bad thing with the caffeine again. Sorry mom. And then when I finally feel asleep this morning between 6 & 7 I just had weird dreams about my family and hicks building houses and almost running into jess with my car and visiting my sister in maine and searching for someone but not knowing his name. Strange. And now I'm at work.

Christmas is in 2 weeks gang. That's barely any time at all.

Man, I feel almost like I want to die. Maybe not all that, but at least I want to lay down on the floor of the clinic and sleep. I bet I'm not allowed.

So there's that. Back to work.

facebook

alright facebook lovers ... it's true ... my relationship status has changed. check it.

as of today there are only 2 weeks left until i will be reentering the ohio world. needless to say ... i can hardly wait.

i'll update more tomorrow ... cause i'll be at work ... dash it all ...

I'm just glad I have you. The end.

i'm a rebel

"Every real Friendship is a sort of secession, even a rebellion. It may be a rebellion of serious thinkers against accepted clap-trap or of faddists against accepted good sense; of real artists against popular ugliness or of charlatans against civilised taste; of good men against the badness of society or of bad men against its goodness. Whichever it is, it will be unwelcome to Top People. in each knot of friends there is a sectional 'public opinion' which fortifies its members against the public opinion of the community in general. Each therefore is a pocket of potential resistance. Men who have real friends are less easy to manage or 'get at'; harder for good authorities to correct or for bad authorities to currupt." C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves

For the fellow rebel thinkers that are in my life, I am ever so grateful.

Last night found me exploding. Yes. I exploded. I guess that's what happens when you keep things inside for too long. You end up yelling at your roommate. I felt/feel horrible about the yelling part. But what I said was true. I'm a mess. And I'm not a yeller. What's happening to me.

Maybe I've found the answer to life after mission year. But just maybe. I've gotta discuss it with my tour guide and do a little more research. But as for now I must get to work, my boss informed me that I need to have a flier ready to go out Monday. Oh life.

with a little help from my friends

"Friendship arises out of companionship. When two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure(or burden)." C.S. Lewis

"This [friendship love], free from instinct, free from all duties but those which love has freely assumed, almost wholly free from jealousy, and free without qualification from the need to be needed, is eminently spiritual. It is the sort of love one can imagine between angels." C.S. Lewis


C.S. has some really good insight into friendship. I'm liking it a lot. I've been so blessed in the area of friendships. thank you friends for being there and being mine.


one of my favorite friend memories is of the eve of the eve that I moved to Chicago. it took place at jeff and melody's house. kim, lance, jeff, melody, adam, mary, johnny and i were there. we sat outside and talked of heaven. it was great.


well it's time to pack up and head out to the banquet that my roommate and i are singing at ... who knows how this happened ...


<3

butt of the joke

Have you ever had someone ask you a question and you knew they were being sarcastic, and they said it half laughingly and you knew they were laughing at you, but you didn't know why? Yeah me too. Just now. Who even knows what's going on. It appears that one of my coworkers doesn't like me too much. Oh well.

Wilco's song How to Fight Loneliness gets it done. 18 days.

C.S. Lewis and I have been hanging out this afternoon. This is what I got today.

"How can I love my home without coming to realize that other men, no less rightly, love theirs? Once you have realized that the Frenchmen like cafe complet just as we like bacon and eggs -- why, good luck to them and let them have it. The last thing we want is to make everywhere else just like our own home. It would not be home unless it were different."

How true. Good one C.S.

Today I needed to be reminded that I really wouldn't want everything to be just like home. Then home wouldn't be home. And I like that home is home. Let's keep it that way. Okay? Okay. Done and done.

P.S. The other night Kim and I went to Borders and I found the next journal I want. I'm ridiculous. But it's seriously so cute. It's got extra pockets and sleeves for pictures. Man, I couldn't even start it for like 6 months or so. But it gives me hope. Ha. Time to be done with work.

we've got a problem

found this http://www.time.com/time/2001/aidsinafrica/ check it

1.3 billion people live on less than a $1 a day

3 billion people live on less than $2 a day

1.3 billion people have no access to clean water

2 billion people have no access to electricity

3 billion people have no access to sanitation

20% of the population in the developed nations consume 86% of the world's good

http://www.greatergood.com/newsroom/ths/information.html

all you need is love

yesterday morning before heading out into the frigid cold i read 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 which is as follows:

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, 'jump', and it jumps, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."

my reading of the passage only briefly went beyond the words on the page and then i ventured outdoors. one of my stops was at borders to read for a bit. as i continued reading All About Love by Bell Hooks i got to chapter 6 where that she quotes this passage and talks about it's relevance and importance. and that's when i sat up and listened. God was obviously trying to get my attention. He's good.

recently i've been wrestling through what it looks like to serve others, especially this year. there are all these voices saying i should do this or i need to do that. if my actions don't come from a heart of love then they're totally irrelevant. my heart is not to do things just to do them. i hope to cultivate in my heart a life of love so that every action and word is drenched with the love that i have so freely received. i never want to serve someone out of guilt or compulsion but out of a love that is so deeply ingrained in my soul that i won't consciously know i'm "serving". i'm just loving.

now the question is how to do that.


in other news, Bell Hooks said, "A commitment to a spiritual life requires us to do more than read a good book or go on a retreat. It requires conscious practice, a willingness to unite the way we think with the way we act."

true that Bell. true that.

also, i miss my tour guide. 19 days and we shall be reunited.

this one boy

when I first moved to Chicago I was introduced to this boy named Donovan ... so pretty much he's sweeping me off my feet ... his last name is Frankenrighter or something like that ...


tell me why I'm outside in this weather ...


1 Corinthians 13 got me a lot today. I'll update more about it tomorrow.

let it snow

well, we got our first real snow this morning. it's cold, wet & beautiful. lauren and i got on some warm clothes and ran outside in the snow. we're ridiculous.


my roommate made me a cd of songs she thought i would like. it included some copeland. oh how i've missed copeland. and the days of copeland. like a year ago. it was an enjoyable time.


"Do not worry about your career. Concern yourself with your vocation and that is to be lovers of Jesus." - Mother Teresa

it's hard to find the balance between preparing for the future and living in the now. i find that i'm often unable to live in that in between.


things are getting a little outta control.