I guess I'm famous

micah says to check this out ... even i think there's a stricking resemblance

be joyful always

"...fill our minds with the stories of God's acts. Joy has a history. Joy is the verified, repeated experience of those involved in what God is doing. It is as real as a date in history, as solid as a stratum of rock in Palestine. Joy is nurtured by living in such a history, building on such a foundation." - Eugene Peterson, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction


joy. so much to be joyful about. just take time to remember. think about what God's done in history, in your story. He's faithful. He's good. He is Love.


"My security comes from who God is, not from how I feel. Discipleship is a decision to live by what I know about God, not by what I feel about him or myself or my neighbors." E. Peterson

old man jokes

When one of my roommates or I make a corny joke, we call them old man jokes. And Brian makes a whole heck of a lot of them on our answering machine. They're jokes that you would picture your dad saying, or maybe an uncle. This quote really has nothing to do with any of that though.

"Youth is not a period of time. It is a state of mind, a result of the will, a quality of the imagination, a victory of courage over timidity, of the taste for adventure over the love of comfort. A man doesn't grow old because he has lived a certain number of years. A man grows old when he deserts his ideal. The years may wrinkle his skin, but deserting his ideal wrinkles his soul. Preoccupations, fears, doubts and despair are the enemies which slowly bow us toward earth and turn us into dust before death. You will remain young as long as you are open to what is beautiful, good and great; receptive to the messages of other men and women, of nature and of God. If one day you should become bitter, pessimistic, and gnawed by despair, may God have mercy on your old man's soul."

Brennan Manning quoting General Douglas MacArthur, The Ragamuffin Gospel

Why can't I find you Peter Pan?

right now is right where i'm supposed to be

"Don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there." 1 Corinthians 7:17 (The Message)


"For the present do not think of it as a narrow life. I have my purpose. My loving purpose, in cutting you away from other work and interests, for the time. To work from large interests and a desire for great activities and world movements, to the inner circle life with me, is really the wrong way. That is why so often, when through all these activities and interests, a soul finds me, I have to begin our friendship by cutting away the ties that bind it to the outer and wider circle. When it has gained strength and learned its lesson in the inner circle, it can widen it's life, working this time from within out, taking then to each contact, each friendship, the inner circle influence." - God Calling


Makes sense eh? The other day I was talking to my wonderful friend Kimberly Foulis, and as we talked about the community I was in while in Columbus I started getting a little homesick. It was such a blessing. So rich and empowering. But then these are the things I read later that day. It is hard to not have that community. But I know the lessons I've learned since arriving in Chicago could not have been learned another way. At this time I am in Chicago, and I want to be fully present. And, as I've seen so many times before, the relationships that God has brought together, no time or distance can separate. What a beautiful time.


Monday was incredible. I didn't really do too much. But I talked to several of the special people who are in my life. I'm so blessed. And my starbucks friends sent me an enormous box of goodies. They know me so well. And I miss them all so much. I don't want to complain anymore about the lack of friends here, for I've been richly blessed with friendships. Truly Blessed. Thank you friends.


and i have a garden gnome to take with me everywhere. i love you.

Emily Scott

Dear Emily Scott,

Happy Birthday! May this day be all you could hope for and more. More than you know I wish I could be there to celebrate it with you. Remember all the truth about you today. You're beautiful and have a tender and precious heart. You're loved and treasured. There is no one else in the world like you. I'm blessed to have you in my life. We've shared good times and bad and have only grown closer. Remember our first and only fight? It was horrible but brought both of us closer to God and each other. I truly do thank God for you. Thank you for introducing me to all kinds of new music. I love our talks about life, love and God. He is truly present in our conversations. Remember walking through that park in Boston. Thank you for everything you are. I hope you are surrounded by people that love you as much as you deserve.

I dedicate Better Together by Jack Johnson to you today.

Love you and miss you. Happy Birthday pumpkin. Live it up.

Yours Truly,
Laura Young

black friday

hi. i'm downtown during the day after thanksgiving shopping rush. i love it. about to go read for a bunch of hours. i'll be back in c-bus in a month. be ready for it. there's a lot more to update about but i haven't the time. there are people to watch and books to be read. miss you c-bus. stay classy.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

something's terribly wrong

last night two of my roommates and i headed over to our neighbors house for a little get together. brian and dave did mission year two years ago and stuck around in the neighborhood. they have two additional roommates, d.j. and dennis. it was just fun. a bunch of people hanging out, knocking back some beers (not us mission year kids) and playing all kinds of games. it's almost like i forgot about life outside of mission year. life where that people just hang out. it's strange. everything about my life is so intentional. which is a good practice but it's so draining sometimes.


let's talk about heart breaking ...


how can it be that a 15 year old girl was excited about being pregnant because her boyfriend and her had been planning it? what's wrong with this world? it's hard to be excited about this wonderful gift when the circumstances this child is being born into are so ... well ... you know ...


and how about the 17 year old girl that came in yesterday to ask if she could get another pregnancy test ... i'd already given her one and it was positive so i was slightly confused. she then told me how she wanted to make sure because her parents were forcing the boy and her to get married ... she didn't want to ruin her life by getting married if she isn't pregnant.


and what do you do when a mother in the waiting room is telling her little girl to stop crying or she'll hit her. how can this be?


something's terribly wrong.

like a child

"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: 'I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" Matthew 18:2-4

"it is important to remember the Jewish attitude toward children in the first-century Palestine if we are to grasp the full force of Jesus' teaching here. In the present day, we tend to idealize childhood as the happy age of innocence, insouciance, and simple faith; but in the New Testament times the child was considered of no importance, meriting little attention or favor. children in that society had no status at all--they did not count. the child was regarded with scorn.

for the disciple of Jesus, 'becoming like a little child' means the willingness to accept oneself as being of little account and to be regarded as unimportant. the little child who is the image of the kingdom is a symbol of those who have the lowest places in society, the poor and oppressed, the beggars, the prostitutes and tax collectors...the scribes were treated with excessive deference in Jewish society because of their education and learning. everyone honored them because of their wisdom and intelligence. the 'mere children' (napioi in Greek, really meaning babes) were Jesus' image for the uneducated and ignorant. he is saying that the gospel of grace has been disclosed to and grasped by the uneducated and ignorant instead of the learned and wise. for this, Jesus thanks God.

the babes (napioi) are in the same state as the children (paidia). God's grace falls on them because they are negligible creatures, not because of their good qualities. they may be aware of their worthlessness, but this is not the reason revelations are given to them. Jesus expressly attributes their good fortune to the Father's good pleasure...the gifts are not determined by the slightest personal quality or virtue."

- Brennan Manning The Ragamuffin Gospel

happy feet

i've been in meetings all morning. my brain is on the verge of exploding. but it's good. saw a lot of the business side of this organization. it makes me sad.


yesterday i was talking with one of my roommates. we had both experienced some situations with either teachers or doctors yelling to get their point accross. what happens in a persons life that turns people into numbers instead of individuals to be loved. my heart breaks for these people and i never want to get to the point of yelling instead of loving. now the question is how to prevent that from happening.


try this on for size. yesterday one of the doctors sent me in to one of her clients to get the scoop on her situation. she asked me to give her a little abstinence pep talk. 19 year old female. more partners then she could remember. half male half female. currently with her female partner of a year and a half. has a two year old son. oh my goodness. an abstinence pep talk. what a stretching day yesterday was.


ragamuffin gospel is the book of coice currently. would you like a little nugget? yes? okay. this was a little snippet that i like.

"when i get honest, i admit i am a bundle of paradoxes. i believe and i doubt, i hope and get discouraged, i love and i hate, i feel bad about feeling good, i feel guilty about not feeling guilty. i am trusting and suspicious. i am honest and i still play games. aristotle said i am a rational animal; i say i am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer." - brennan manning


last night my roommate lauren and i took these two little kids to the movies. we saw happy feet. the two year old on my lap laughed so loud and danced to the music. so i joined her in that. it was quite good. the only thing that could have made it better was if kim sadler woulda been there. my roommate thought i was strange. kim woulda been just as embarrassing as i was.


a month and three days.

cottage now ... palace later

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on.
You knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you throught of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage, but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself." - C. S. Lewis

good right? how true though. is it any wonder that when we accept Christ into our life that all kinds of craziness takes place. it's gonna be painful because he making us into something so different from what we are now. he's making us beautiful. peaceful. complete. is your heart somewhere that Christ can come and hangout? or is it too crazy? loud and messy? he sits there and you go in and out. no time to rest. good analogy Lewis.


yesterday was a little hard. all kinds of messages comin at me. sometimes it's hard to listen to someone and take the truth they say and leave the other junk behind. it's a lot easier to discount everything they say. it's a challenge.


today i've successfully made a girl cry. and a woman's stomach hurt. it breaks my heart. but it must be done. if teenagers knew the truth about STD's and all the emotional side effects of sex outside of marriage i would have far fewer clients. it's horrible.


my sabbath has been switched to friday which is good i guess. it just means that right now i'm at work. have a wonderful day.

boston

"i think i need a sunrise ... i'm tired of the sunset" - Augustana


we had eight people in a five seater car yesterday. one of my fondest memories yet.


my roommate hilary and i headed out to a poetry reading at starbucks last night. it was so fascinating. it was put on by a program called u-turn that helps ex-convicts get back out into the work force. and the readings were done by some of the graduates of the program.


on our way to and from delightful starbucks hilary and i talked about how faithful God has been since we got to Chicago. neither of us thought for a moment that we'd be doing what we're doing. we're so blessed. and so full of joy. honestly i've never known such joy and inner peace. it's really true that serving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength is the only thing that brings such fullfillment. what a wonderful God.


sometimes it's hard to be here. to be away from people i love and care about. but it's worth it. definitely. and knowing that distance doesn't change the relationships that matter has brought a lot of freedom for this time of deciding what to do after mission year. there are so many places yet to go. and i have options here now. kent's always a possibility. and 2008 and europe could live together in harmony. oh the possibilities are endless. it's an exciting time.


i met this guy last night named timothy. he had dreads and this fantastic leather backpack. both of which i would like to have. the end.

5 shots

so when i've been off coffee for a couple weeks it's a bad idea to drink so much. if you've ever seen a crazy little chipmunk that runs around a lot ... well that's what i feel like right now.



"Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, "How can I help?" That's exactly what Jesus did. He didn't make it easy for himself by avoiding people's troubles, but waded right in and helped out. "I took on the troubles of the troubled," is the way Scripture puts it. Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it's written for us. God wants the combination of his steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever he will do next." Romans 15:2-4 (The Message)

often when I'm tired and worn out and notice someone who is obviously struggling with something, I'll avoid them. not to be mean but because I'm selfish. which I guess is mean. this verse is challenging because it implies that we should be actively seeking out the troubles of others so that we can be a help to them.



and in her book Having a Mary Spirit, author Joanna Weaver writes, "When we can't trace His hand, we must trust His heart...don't look at what you see, remember what you know." - she talks about how there will be times when we don't understand what it is that God's doing, but that He is faithful. in those times of confusion or doubt we must remember God's character. remember who God is and how He never changes.



also, I've found another reason to move out of the U.S. ... I've decided that I would really like a pet monkey. and that's illegal in the states. so there's that.

don't be hatin'

Romans 14

Verse 1 "Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don't see things the way you do. And don't jump all over them every time they do or say something you don't agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently."

Verse 13 "Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is."

Verse 19 "So let's agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don't drag them down by finding fault."

- good stuff right up in here. we can't assume that we know what God's doing in someone's life. just love. when we judge someone it's as if we're saying we know better how they should act, dress or talk. we have no idea. i'm talking to me. it's a struggle to stay silent when everything in me tells my stubborn heart that i'm right and they're wrong. but God's working in all of our lives. so let's let God do His job. He knows what He's doing. -


well the school is still here. no bombs exploded yesterday ... but that does mean that i got the day off. how wonderful.


a month and 10 days and i will be in ohio.

bomb

a bomb threat was called in at the highschool where i work ... so we can't let anyone into the clinic ... which means we're just sitting here. hopefully they'll get this building searched quickly. oh highschools ...


just another day i guess

Discover Beauty in Everyone

Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it.

Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.

Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.

Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.

Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder.

Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy;
share tears when they're down.

Get along with each other; don't be stuck up.

discover beauty in everyone.

Make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-to-day obligations that you lose track of time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing.


Romans 12:9-13, 15-17 & 13:11


got me. how often do i take time to find beauty in everyone? am i cheerfully expectant for Christ's return? am i so consumed with my day-to-day life that i forget why i'm here? am i loving others (roommates, neighbors, clients, ohioans) with the kind of love that is selfless?


once again God is pounding.

triple tall americano

mom and the little brothers came to town yesteday. equipped with their disposable cameras we explored chicago together. really sweet time. we talked and laughed and they embarrassed me almost as much as i embarrassed them. as we sat in the cutest starbucks in all the land i broke out a little of my std information on them. never in my life have i seen such red faces and squirming. it was delightful. but seriously. it was a really good time. we went to ikea, got chicago style pizza, walked around millenium park, rode the train and took pictures all along the way.


mom and i talked about where i'm going to move once this year is over. it's looking like chicago could continue to be a time. she told me i could just live in the apartment that my dad's getting. so maybe that part of it isn't a good idea. but who knows. maybe kent will be a time.


so now i'm headed back to the pad. it's time for sitting and relaxing. and maybe a hair change.


ben folds knew exactly how i felt this morning. rain drops keep falling on my head ...


my little brothers are just really cute is all.


a month and a half and i'll be back in good ol' c-bus.

don't get cocky and strut your branch

Romans 11:11-24 - eugene peterson has such a way with words ... check it ... how dare we ever think we are entitled to salvation. we were saved because of God's love for us.


today was the first time I did the HIV pretest counseling for someone that was out of highschool. this guy was 3 months younger than I am. talk about intimidating. but I'm being stretched. how great.


this morning my roommate was praying and she said "thank you for being our shield, our fortress and our deliverer." one I was thinking about how cliche our prayers are. but also how different each of the descriptions of God are. they're all true. but think about the implications of only one of those words. do we think about what we're saying to God. I'm just as guilty as anyone else. how often I say meaningless words to God. think about what really matters.


recently I read a book by Kyle Lake entitled, (RE)Understanding Prayer. It talked a lot about this subject. the importance of prayer and how often we take it lightly. more often than not praying to those around us instead of the God around us. read the book. it's good.


last night my roommate and I were talking about what if's. what if this had happened ... or hadn't happened. she was talking about a situation involving her and two guys. the what if's had to do with the timing of things. it just made me think about how different life would be if things had happened at different times. there's nothing I can do about it now ... it was just interesting to think about.


my head's all over the place today. talked to my good friend jed last night. I get so excited after talking to him. hopefully he'll be out here this coming spring ... what an exciting time.


back to work ... or rather back to reading The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne. there have been mixed reactions to the book so I've decided to find out for myself.


have a good one.

santa gave me coffee

here's another reason why I love God ... I go into work today ... there's no school. so I get an unexpected day off. how wonderful. I've spent a lot of time with Him today. He's really great. we've been reading through Romans. it's been really great.


I just spent a lot of time in Borders. I started reading this book called All About Love by Bell Hooks. pretty stellar so far. I got about half way done with the book in one sitting.


As a woman and a lover, however, I am moved by the sight of my Beloved. Where He is, I want to be. What He suffers, I want to share. Who He is, I want to be, crucified for love. - Saint Teresa of Avila


and this is why I love Chicago. the streets are littered with twinkle lights. walking down the street I encounter santa clause. or at least starbucks workers dressed as santa and passing out free samples of Christmas Blend. then I cross the street and there's a guy riding a vespa. (carl come to chicago and buy me a vespa). it's beautiful here. there's always something going on and a multitude of places to hide away in. it's a city full of corners and passages into freedom. my goodness. i'm blubbering.


mom and the little brothers are coming to visit me sunday/monday. we've got all kinds of plans. I'm gonna show them the best parts of my Chicago. can hardly wait.


oh the adventures of sleeping in a bunkbed ... this morning I went to climb out ... too bad my roommate left her sweater on the step. I slipped and ended up on top of my dresser. what an adventure. the two sausage like bruises on my legs tell the tale quite well.


picked up an apartment book ... no harm in planning ahead ...

You Can't Touch This

Romans 8:31-39

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us! — is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.


What is there to be afraid of? Really? God did all that for us before we were even born ... don't you think that shows just what lengths He would go to for us. It's encouraging.


Plus, there have been screaming kids in the clinic all day. Remember that ... it could be worse ...

hope is spreading

"Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced." - James Baldwin



Check it out. The Global Fund.


Check this. HopeSpreads.org. . Get on the map.

|< o o |<

kook

A person regarded as strange, eccentric, or crazy: crackpot, crazy, eccentric, lunatic. Informal crank, loon, loony. Slang cuckoo, ding-a-ling, dingbat, nut, screwball, weirdie, weirdo.

last night i was sitting in my living room typing up something on the computer when a roommate came in the room. she laid down and just smiled so i smiled back and asked what was up. she said something to the effect that i'm funny. who knew. then she told me i'm a kook. i laughed a lot. evidentally there's been a significant difference in my personality since i arrived in chi-town. anna said that she doesn't think it's insanity but more a letting go. so there's that little tid bit.


"So let's not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don't give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith." Galatians 6:9&10 (the Message)

don't give up. keep doing good. isn't it strange how it's often easier to do good to those outside the community of faith. pride is a nasty little bugger. it makes us think that we have rights. that we deserve something. isn't that what causes fights and quarrels among us. something good to think about.


this morning i gave my roommate jenny a guided tour of our porch. often when you look out across the city you can see forever. it reminded me of the smoky mountains.


how did i get so blessed. why did God choose me. what a lucky girl am i.

downtown

i'm downtown chillin chi-town style.

so kim helped me realize that i had an addiction. it was called coffee and it was running my life. i've only had one cup today. so that's a big improvement. let's just say that i felt like i had a hangover all day yesterday. headaches. sensitivity to light. irritability. trouble focusing. it was pretty bad. all because i didn't have my normal pot and a half of coffee. so there's that little tid bit.

so the insanity is getting worse. all the inhabitions i had are now gone. saturday found my roommate lauren and i walking through our neighborhood pretending we had a dog. sparky is really great but often runs away and since he's stronger than i am and on a leash things can get pretty outta control. today this guy was honking at us as we walked down the street. before the insanity i would have ignored it ... but today i found myself turning around and yelling "you're hurting my ears". who even knows what's happening to me. i sing out loud on the subway and on the streets. and frequently dance a jig while crossing the street. why i think this is insanity is because i never realize what i'm doing is strange until later. then i question what's happened. what's changed. who even knows.

today was time for a letter to good ol' Matthew ... i'm so glad to be talking again. it's been hard but good. hopefully i get to see him and his fiancee this winter. we'll see.

these were some nuggets that got me today. taken from the 4th chapter of Phillippians. i'm chewing on them now ...

"...you'll do best by filling your minds and meditations on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise not things to curse." 8

"I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed of hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."12

"Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." 13

And I will leave you now. it's time to go explore. to dance. to sing. to count it all a loss compared to the wonder of having Jesus Christ in my life ... peace it out kids ...

peaceful chaos

It's incredible what God's doing. Really. I'm amazed.

This morning a girl who had come in a couple days ago for a pregnancy test came back to talk. She had all these crazy questions and wanted all this advice. I'm just blown away that she feels comfortable enough to come and tell me everything that's going on. So I've been doing a little internet exploration for her. Finding out things about nutrition and exercise. It's good. God's using me to help someone. What a lucky girl I am.

I'm in a place of contentment right now. Peace that transcends understanding is calming my mind and protecting my heart. It's wonderful. There's so much going on and so many things that I could worry about. But God is bigger than all of it ... and somehow I'm remembering that.

Tonite will hopefully be the night that I confront one of my roommates. So today I need to continually be in prayer about it. That I would speak the truth in a way that would encourage and empower her to change. My tendency is to get my point across ... to cause feelings of guilt. That is not the way of love. So my pride must go. More of Him ... less of me ...

Back to work ... back to reading this really great book ... Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum, PH.D. ... really eye opening and challenging ... check it ...

... wait ...

this is taken from October 30th entry in the book God Calling, "Wait and you shall realize the joy of the one who can be calm and wait, knowing that all is well. The last and hardest lesson, is that of waiting. So wait ... I would have you know this, that from the moment you placed all in My hands and sought no other aid, from that moment I have taken the quickest way possible to work out your salvation and to free you. There is so much you have to be taught to avoid future disaster ... use this waiting time to cement your knowledge of me."

and this is from Paul's letter to the church at Phillipi, "Don't worry. Instead of worrying pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

I'm sitting at work ... it's been really slow this morning. I haven't seen a single client since I got here. I did some research for a roommate. looked up some facts about dreads. checked my email like 50 times.

God's giving me opportunities to be patient ... I don't always do as well as I'm sure He wishes I did ... but I'm trying ...

It's incredible the difference time spent with Him makes on the rest of your day. Try it.