my hope is in You

"Put your hope in God." - Psalm 42:11

"The Lord is righteous in all His ways and loving toward all He has made. The Lord is near to all who call on Him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; He hears their cries and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love Him." - Psalm 145:17-20

"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." - Psalm 55:22

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." - Psalm 62:1&2

"Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. But as for me, it is godd to be near God." - Psalm 74:25,26&28


If I ever put my hope in something other than God I'm setting myself up for disaster. God is the only one that is always faithful and always loving. And even though He is, I still doubt. So why would I ever let my happiness rest on another mortal being? That's unfair to do that to them. No one deserves that kind of pressure. Only God, for He's the only one that could be all that we desire and more.

I'm just trying to get my life back where it needs to be. And I'm thinking about skipping out on a little work today. I feel sick afterall. My head feels like there's a grenade exploding in it. My throat feels like someone took an S.O.S. pad to it. And when I talk I sound like a man. Alright that does it ... I'm skipping out on work. Peace out kids.

cartwheels

Habakkuk 3:17-19 (The Message)

Though the cherry trees don't blossom and the strawberries don't ripen, though the apples are worm-eaten and the wheat fields stunted, though the sheep pens are sheepless and the cattle barns empty, I'm singing joyful praise to God. I'm turning cartwheels of joy to my Savior God. Counting on God's Rule to prevail, I take heart and gain strength. I run like a deer. I feel like I'm king of the mountain!

My mom sent me a text with this verse in it. Good reminder. Even though things are hard and painful at times. I will still talk about God's goodness. Even though things don't make sense. I will still declare God's faithfulness.


Wanna see something cute? Alright ... this is my brother and his fiancee ... http://www.dnephotography.com/Young-Poling.htm ... cute right? ... I'm jealous ...


Currently I'm a tad bit sick. Coughing, headache, fatigue. And then last night I may have made myself a little sick. But that led to sleeping on the floor which turned out to be great. Slept in till 7. It was good. Hopefully I'm better by tomorrow. We'll see.


It's been wonderfully liberating realizing that the relationships that I care most about(Ashley, Emily, KimS, KimF, Katie etc.) are going to be there no matter what. Whether I remain in Chicago after this year, or follow through on my plan with Emily Scott. There's a lot less stress about the future now. And the convo with my mom that went something like, "I don't see you settling down. You're gonna travel the world." Hooray for world traveling.


Oh, and I'll be back in c-bus on Sunday.

He Gets The Last Word

1 Peter 5:8-11 (The Message)

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.


Isn't it great how good God is. Why throw in the towel when I've got something this good. My loved ones are not the only ones going through such hard times. All over the world Satan is attacking God's children.


Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

Thank you Kim. Sometimes I forget. God's got this. No need to worry. No need to fret. God's got our backs. Remember when we looked all over for that bookstore? I remember that. You're great. I'm glad you're in my life.


Last night my roommate walked in the room and set a tea bag on the table. She said her boss had given it to her and that it was really good tea but she just didn't like it. So since I'm a teaaholic I grabbed that sucker only to find out that it was earl grey! It was like Christmas. So I got some boiling water, some honey, a mug and my new found earl grey tea bag and drank me a lovely cup of tea. Oh the memories that can come from the scent of a single cup of tea.


Mom and sisters are headed out on Friday. It's gonna be a stellar time. Then I'm headed to O-hi-O. It's really coming up fast. Time is flying past.


My co-workers are talking about smoking weed. They're moms. It's weird to eaves drop on this conversation. Sometimes they switch to only speaking in spanish. Oh hilarious. Speaking of weed, our apartment building usually smells of the reefer because boys will stand at the bottom of our stairs and smoke. So yesterday our landlords daughter asked my roommate if we're smoking in our apartment. My roommate said no thinking that she thought we were the source of the smell. Then the girl informed us that she smokes weed and was just wondering if we did so that we could smoke together. Too bad huh.


"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." - Proverbs 16:9

does not compute

"...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28


"All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful." - Psalm 25:10


"As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him." - 2 Samuel 22:31


"God works for the good." - Well right now it doesn't seem like it. How can this be good? How are these loving and faithful ways? His way just doesn't seem perfect right now.


"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." - Isaiah 55:8&9


For sure I would do things a little differently. In my head I know that God is faithful. He is good. For crying out loud, He is Love. But in my heart it's hard to feel that way.


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." - Philippians 4:6


"Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7


Things have been put in perspective. My silly little complaints seem pretty shallow and pointless. God is so big and I am so small. I'm going to keep trusting, even though I don't understand.

i'm safer in an airplane

Who knew copeland had an album out called Eat Sleep Repeat? Yeah it's good. Especially I'm Safer In An Airplane.

it happened then, it happens now
they let you in, they let you down
and its feels like, we cant get out
and it feels like, hell...

i think im safer in an airplane,
i think im safer with my lungs full of smoke
i think im safer on the jet way,
than a world without hope

the day came in, the day went out
and not a bit of peace was spoken about
and it feels like, a suicidal world
and it feels like, hell...

i think im safer in an airplane,
i think im safer if i run through the streets
i think im safer on the jetway,
than a world without peace

oh, my arms will stretch out when they've had enough
oh, when they're tired of holding up us

i think im safer on an airplane,
i think im safer in the sky up above,
i think on safer on the jetway,
than a world without..

i think im safer on an airplane,
i think im safer in the sky up above
i think on safer on the jetway,
than a world without love.



Alright let's recap.


Saturday we had a party and invited people from our church and from the neighborhood. Definitely crazy to have pastor and drug dealer hanging in the same apartment. But isn't that how Jesus rolled? Yes. So then people are leaving and we're cleaning up and Brian calls, invites himself over and brings about 5 other people. True we know DJ and Erica. But the musician named Joel (reminded me of johnny a whole lot) and the other girls (don't know names) we didn't. And it was awkward and hilarious. I haven't laughed that hard since Ashley's last night in Ohio. And maybe I wasn't laughing quite that hard, but it was pretty close. There were tears. Brian made us play one of those stupid cranium games. One of my roommates leaned over and told me to cuss no matter what the picture was. So I did for a brief moment. Hilarious. Don't worry. My language is still tame.


Sunday after church we had a craft time for the little children. It was good. There were beads and icing everywhere. But the little kids were adorable. Hanging all over. Everything we did seemed amazing to them. Crazy to have fans like that.


The people at the Apple Store are great. Or at least that's what nick who works here told me to say. Isn't this fun. I'm making friends everywhere. http://fwdforwards.blogspot.com/index.html this is one of his blogs. check it.

Coming home in 6 days. Can't hardly wait.


Armed with my chucks and my backpack I'm gonna go finish shopping. Christmas time is great.

so be it

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it in tact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."

But...

"We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if he chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it."

from C.S.Lewis' book The Four Loves

I've learned a lot from this book. A lot about love. A lot about relationships. But I am more than happy to move on to another book. This time it's a novel. Shootdang. It's called The Corner by David Simon & Edward Burns. It's about life in the inner city. My language is usually pretty tame, but this book may change that. Hopefully not.

So, this guy that's been offering me rides on a daily basis. I decided today that we're not friends. Since I saw him circle around a couple times. Maybe it was nothing. But also maybe it creeped me out a little.

But on a lighter note, the organization that I work for is doing this "12 days of Christmas" thing. Two days ago gift packages were given out to everyone. Yesterday gingerbread and apple cider was dispersed. Who knows what today may bring. I'm excited about it.

Back to work. I'm almost home ohio.

how many of me are there?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 1,476 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?