"don't tell me what I can't do!"

albums ive gotten over the past month:

Alicia Keys
Feist
Sara Barielles
A Fine Frenzy
Colbie Calleigh
Ingrid Michaelson

So wonderful...I'm free to listen to whatever I want...you wouldn't understand...

I'm not who I was and not who I will be...where does that leave me?

(eventually)

I've awoken to find myself in transition once again...how do I let these things creep up on me I wonder?.

Today I began my journey through Anne Lamotts book entitled Grace (Eventually). Already, as is usually the case, I feel as though Anne is looking into my soul and writing about the pain and confusion that I myself feel. It's wonderful.

mo joe lounge

I've just been sitting here reading the paper, it reminded me of what a mess the world is.


Reality check gang, the world doesn't revolve around us.

stumbling around at a disco

let me share this,

"I'd like to repeat the advice I gave you before, in that I think you really should make a radicaal change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been to hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun." - Christopher McCandless from the book Into The Wild

this was a delightful little nugget to stumble across.


I've been incredibley blessed, and realized this even more today as I sat talking with a good friend over coffee. God is good. though I'm confused about much of the spiritual realm I find myself in, I can say that God is good, because he is. I've learned so much about being real over the past couple of months.

plus I've got a few awesome friends. a wonderful famiy. I'm truly blessed because the people in my life have been soooo patient with me recently. and honestly ... something is coming back to life inside of me. and it's wonderful.

it's all gonna change

yesterday i started realizing that i'm gonna be okay. i was starting to give up hope but as i look around myself i'm noticing that God's not gonna let me go ... whatever that means. it's okay that i question ... as long as i keep looking for answers. plus ... i don't need all the answers in order to discuss what i know deep in my soul to be true. it's good for me to realize this.


i received a voicemail from ashley saying, "listen to what's on the radio!" --- she knows me so well. lovin it.


work ... it's like the 11th day in a row or something.

chuckle

just listen to the laughter.

what the hell is going on?

yesterday i got together with a good friend who knows how to ask the hard questions. i've missed that and didn't even realize it. as we talked it began to dawn on me how many things are going on that I'm not even paying attention to. maybe it's that I don't care. or maybe I'm too worn out to think about it. but it was sad to realize that I've given up my self-analization. I don't even know what's going on inside of me these days.



how does this stuff happen?



then I ran across this letter from an old friend that reminded me of another world. who that letter makes me out to be is so far from who I am now. the predictions made about my life are disappointingly wrong. it's discouraging. and daunting. that same friend once told me that he'd lost hope. me too.



I don't know how I got here ... so how do I get out?